


Exist and Learn

by TempusLiberi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Canonical Character Death, Child Abuse, Mention of - Freeform, Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological Trauma, as story progresses, just mentioned and talked about, nothing graphic is portrayed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:53:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5899000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TempusLiberi/pseuds/TempusLiberi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the guardians' life after death, Bro tries to deal with the loss of Lil Cal and everything that comes with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. After Life

Orange feathers, yellow blood, black dog, searing pain and-

“Dave!” You snap up with a shout and scramble for your… wait… oh.

You run your hands over your chest. For a brief moment you’re laying back down on the cold ground, pinned to the dirt with your own katana through your chest, but then you’re back, sitting straight up without a scratch to be found.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together, as weird as it is.

“Ah, Mr. Strider, welcome.”

Everything around you is white, a strange white that’s too bright to be real yet somehow doesn’t hurt your eyes. Wait, shouldn’t you be wearing- Your vision is spontaneously tinted darker as the thought enters your mind. Weird. You reach up just to make sure and yup, there are your shades, just as pointy as you left them.

You hop to your feet and finally turn to who was talking to you. There’s an old man, an old woman, and a couple around your age sitting around some round café table. The young woman is nursing a martini glass while her partner and the old man seem to be drinking coffee.

“You’re dead too?” It’s kind of a dumb question but it had to be asked.

The woman salutes you with her martini as the rest nod.

“Quite a shame, but it can’t be helped.” The old man states, stirring his drink. “It’s part of that blasted game our young ones were hoodwinked into. No adults allowed, I’m afraid.”

“Huh.” You’d known that of course. Cal had told you. Cal told you everything. It was different than you expected though.

There’s an empty chair at the table for you and you take it, straddling it backwards as you face them.

“They okay?”

“They’re alive.” The old woman responds. “I’m afraid that’s as best as we can hope for at this point.”

You nod. Not much you can say to that. Your heart speeds up a bit as a large spatter of yellow blood and orange feathers flickers through your mind’s eye, but you keep your expression impassive. You’d made sure that Dave was prepared for this. He’d be fine.

It’s silent for a moment and you twitch slightly. You’re not used to silent.

The old man clears his throat. “Well I believe introductions are in order. Jake Harley is my name. Pleasure to make your acquaintances.”

“Jane Egbert.” The old woman says, nodding. “And this is my son Jeff.” She pats the young man on the head and he smiles a bit.

“Roxy Lalonde!” The woman chirps, flashing you a bright smile before sipping on her drink.

“Dirk Strider.” You introduce shortly giving them all a nod.

It’s quiet again.

“So,” The old man, Jake, brakes the silence again. Apparently he doesn’t like it either. 

* * *

 

You wander off after a bit. Apparently everyone except you and Roxy are related somehow and have some catching up to do. Roxy sticks around, having the benefit of being in a thing with Jeff and generally giving a shit. You, however, don’t really care.

You spend a bit messing around with the ‘think and it shall appear’ feature of what you guess is your new home. It works pretty well. If you can remember an object you can recreate it. If you stop thinking about it, however, it disappears. Food tastes like what you remember it to be. You can’t create anyone living however. The most you can get is an empty shell, no soul inside you guess.

You can hold your breath indefinitely if you don’t think about it too much. Recreate Huston from memory. And if you walk too far in any direction you always end up back at the table with the rest of them.

After that… you’re not sure what else to figure out. Seems pretty simple. All and all not a bad place to spend… eternity you guess. Not quite sure how death works. It’s still quiet though, and you can’t seem to help the nervous tick you’re developing because of it.

There’d always been some sort of noise in your life. You grew up in a busy city after all. Full of people and activity. Even in those rare quiet moments Cal was always there, whispering to you, telling you everything. There was always some sound. Now there wasn’t anything.

Your heart is starting to speed up again and you clench your hands reflexively.

Cal’s not here. You’ve never been without him for this long.

Okay, okay, no you can deal. You can do this. It’s just…

You take a deep breath and stand up straight. You’re a Strider. You don’t get upset. You think. Problem solve. Right. Okay. Cal’s not here. _Yet_. No problem. You can just…

Remembering him isn’t hard. You have every stitch of him memorized, but when you think about him, even as hard as you can. Nothing happens. He doesn’t appear like everything else. Not even a shell.

You can’t make him appear.

Why can’t you make him appear?

Your hand is shaking and you can’t seem to stop it, even when you hold it with your other one.

Cal’s not here. You can’t make him appear. You… you’re stuck without Cal… _forever_.

Okay, no, so, not the most preferable situation but you can deal. Cal was a big part of your life but you can live, well, _exist_ without him. You’ll be okay.


	2. Bro: Panic

You are _not_ okay!

You are completely and totally _not_ okay!

Why did you ever _think_ you’d be okay?

What even _is_ okay?

What?

No

Calm down          

You’re a Strider.

You

You can do this

Calm.

Down.

…

Yeah

That’s not happening.

Hah!

You open your eyes briefly and immediately scrunch them back up, pressing your palms against your ears to try and stifle the ‘not-noise’ that has to be driving you insane.

Everything is too…

Something?

You don’t know

Dizzy?

That’s not right

How can something be dizzy?

You’re dizzy

Aren’t you?

No, that’s not… it.

Confusing

Maybe?

But is _isn’t_ though

It _shouldn’t_ be

It’s simple

You figured it out already

So why doesn’t anything make sense?

What’s wrong with you?

Okay

No

You just have to think

Why can’t you think?

Cal’s not here, that’s why

Cal’s

Not

H-here

_~~Forever~~ _

You don’t know what to do

Cal always tells you what to do

Cal knows everything

Everything

Everything

He’s smarter than you

Wiser

He’d know what to do

He always knew what to do

Why isn’t he here?

Did he

Leave you?

He’d threatened to do it before

When you were being bad.

And he-

He’d do it sometimes

Just a little bit.

To show you what the world was like without his guidance

But he always came back

Yeah…

He always came back

You’d just

Just have to wait

Yeah

 

Just

 

Wait


	3. Be Jane

Your name is Jane Egbert and you’ve been here for a while, much longer than everyone around you. You’d fallen into the white void thirteen years ago when a meteor carrying your grandson had taken your life. It had been lonely at first, and quite confusing. Your death had been rather sudden and there had been no one here to explain things. You weren’t even sure what had happened for the longest time. You had your wits about you, though, and you were determined to figure it out!

The void itself turned out to be relatively simple, think and it shall appear and what not. It didn’t do much for your loneliness but having objects to interact with did wonders for your disposition. You discovered your favorite feature a good while later, when all the newfangled gadgets in the world couldn’t distract you from the longing to see your son.

You discovered you could open a window in the void, as large or as small as you wanted it, and view upon the land of the living. It was one way, of course, your son couldn’t see or hear you, but it was wonderful all the same. You got to watch your son grow into a father, this way. Watch your grandson. And you could switch the view to whoever you wanted! See old friends. Spy on old enemies.

It was much like a television though. You couldn’t interact with them, just watch. You were still all alone. It certainly passed the time though! Much better than reading old books you remembered.

It was… curious though, how no one ever came to join you. You watched old acquaintances die time and time again but you remained alone in your white void. That was, until you witnessed the death of your dear brother Jake.

You hadn’t been expecting it and you doubt Jake had either. You will ever be curious what got into that dogs mind. Never the less it had been a great relief to finally enjoy some company. You’d first chastised him the way you couldn’t in life, of course, for leaving you alone with the Batterwitch, but that was over soon enough. He had it a long time coming but you’d long gotten over that bit of your past. Life had ended wonderfully for you and you really wouldn’t have had it any other way.

You’d shown him the ropes and the two of you settled down into a peaceful rhythm. _Semi_ -peaceful anyway.

Jake was a restless spirit, always had been, and he found more joy in the limitless constructs of the void than you did. Reconstructing hunts from his youth, fighting imaginary monsters and what not.

You guess it’s good to know that you can’t ‘ _die’_ here but you would have preferred not to figure it out _that_ way.

Regardless, you left Jake to his adventures as you turned back to watching the lives of the living. Got quite caught up in it actually. Especially young John and his little group of friends. It appeared quite early on to you that they had something of an adventure ahead of them.

When your newest companions arrived, introductions were more of a formality for you. You knew them well enough from watching them through your window. Knew them, perhaps, better than they knew themselves. Definitely better than they knew each other.

Which is why you weren’t at all surprised when Mr. Strider disappeared.

Disappeared the _second_ time, to be clear. He’d left the table early on when the other four of you had moved on from small talk. You hadn’t expected him to stay. He simply wasn’t like that. But he had continued to reappear every so often as he wandered around the void. That was a feature of the place after all. You could never get too far away from what you’d come to call the center.

But after a while he just stopped popping up and, rather quickly after that, his constructs began to vanish rapidly.

Your companions seemed slightly concerned as this began to happen. He had made an entire city after all, it was a hard thing to miss.

You sigh, getting up. “I was afraid of this.”

The rest look confused.

“Mother?” Jeff asks.

“We need to find Mr. Strider.” Which wouldn’t be that hard considering that there were only one or two buildings left. “I’m afraid he’ll need our help.”


	4. Jane: Find Bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group finds Bro. Bro isn't doing so hot, not that he'll admit it.

You find him rather quickly, with his hands squeezing his ears like that would make whatever was going on in his head disappear. He doesn’t respond to his name. You’re not even sure if he can hear you.

You remember hating him at first, when you’d first seen him through your window. He was cold and distant, inhuman, robotic. Poor Dave didn’t deserve that in a guardian. But in your life of snooping around you’d learned that there was a reason for everything, and you were determined to find out what his reason was.

It hadn’t occurred to you at first to look at the puppet. For whatever reason, you had bypassed it in your inspection, wrote it off as a quirk of Mr. Strider. But then, one day, you happened to view him when he was alone in his bedroom. He was staring into the puppets eyes, hypnotized, joints limp, like a puppet cut from its strings, and the puppet... you weren’t quite sure what was going on but you couldn’t stand to look at it too long.

You began to notice more things after that. Most of the time the puppet wasn’t out of Dirk’s sight. He slept with it, walked with it, talked with it, did everything with it. Had you not seen what you’d seen, it would appear that he simply had a strange obsession with it, but you knew there was more. The puppet moved on its own sometimes. Slight movements, mostly, easily missed by the untrained eye. Paps and slaps and grasps, but other times it seemed to teleport, move around the apartment the Striders lived in without anyone touching it.

Yes, the movements were slight but you caught onto a pattern soon enough. The two seemed to have a system, or, at least, the puppet had trained him to understand certain commands. A tightening of the puppets limbs caused Mr. Strider to stop whatever he was doing. Small paps of felt hands relaxed him. It was subtle, precise, calculated, controlling. It was soon all too clear to you that the puppet wasn’t at all a puppet in this relationship.

“Mr. Strider?” You try again, reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder. He jolts at the contact, immediately jumping away from your hand. He looks at you for a moment before, suddenly, he’s gone from your view. You believe they called it “flash stepping.”

Jake flips out his pistols, clearly ready for some attack, but you hold up a hand and he drops them.

“We’re not here to fight.” You state simply, looking around to see if you can figure out where Mr. Strider went. You’re at a bit of a loss on what to do. You know he’s going to need your help but you don’t know how to make it so he’ll _let_ you. Perhaps you need to give him time? Let him come to you when he needs it? Though, there is no guarantee that he will.

“Wha’s goin’ on?”

Right. Your companions deserve some filling in. You turn to face them.

“There is a long story as to why but, despite what you may have seen prior, Mr. Strider… isn’t in the best mental state. Especially in the absence of-”

“I am _not_ crazy.”

You turn again, slightly startled, to see the subject of your conversation standing behind you, somehow managing to look mad even with his shades and poker face.

“And _you_ , _”_ He jabs a finger in your direction, “don’t know shit.”

“This is about your puppet.” You state. “Cal, was it? I know enough to know you’re somewhat dependent on him. It’s easy to deduce that you’re not adjusting well to his absence.”

He stares at you for a long moment. You stare back, gaze softening after a bit.

“I’m here to help, Dirk.”

He flinches at the sound of his name, hands balling into fists. “Don’t call me that!”

“It’s your name.” You state with a furrowed brow, only continuing when he doesn’t elaborate. “What would you rather be called?”

He doesn’t respond and his body language hardly betrays his thoughts.

“Mr. Strider then?”

“No.”

“Then w-“

“Bro or Strider.” He states coldly. “No mister.”

An interesting request but, “You can call me Jane if you’d like.”

“What do you want?”

“To help.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“I think I’m right to say that your actions beg to differ.”

“I can handle it.” He twitches slightly.

“You don’t _have_ to.”

He continues to stare at you for a while before suddenly disappearing has he did before. You can’t say you didn’t expect it.

You manage to fill in the rest of your group without further interruption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And an update after several months. Hopefully the next one won't take as long, but on the upside I spent some of that time figuring out Bro's specific issues! (^-^)b So you're going to hear more about that as this story progresses. 
> 
> A special thanks to all the commenters! But a special special shout out to [catharticEscapism](http://archiveofourown.org/users/catharticEscapism/pseuds/catharticEscapism) whose comment reminded me that this thing exists and encouraged me enough to finish this chapter!


	5. Bro: calm down (kinda)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is not-Dirk and you are not crazy... you also really need to stop calling yourself that.

Your name is Dirk Strider but also not and you… you don’t know what to do.

You’ve calmed down considerably but you’re still shaky and Cal… Cal’s still not here. But he’s going to be. He wouldn’t leave you, right? He’s your _everything_. Your best friend, your family. He’s the only one who stuck with you through everything. He’s _going_ to come back. He _has to_ come back.

….

You are not hiding. And you’re not… look. You… you can do this. You can _do_ this. Worse things have happened. Remember when…

Okay, no, thinking about bad things is not helpful. Of course it’s not helpful, why would you think it would be? That’s dumb. Quit being dumb, not-Dirk. And, and _stop calling yourself that_. Just because Cal-

Bro or Strider. _Bro or Strider_. Yeah. Okay. Right. You’re not going to get anywhere if you don’t even use your own name. Your name. _Your_ name, not-

**_Quit thinking about that!_ **

You really need a chill pill or something. You could probably conjure up some drugs but then your vigilance will suffer and you need to make sure that none of them find you. Nobody is allowed to see you like this. Well they already have, you guess, but that was an accident, a mistake. You won’t let it happen again.

Not again.

You are not crazy. _You are not crazy_.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter from Bro's perspective to get me writing and to get this ball rolling. I've got a WIP Nana chapter that hopefully will be up soon. 10 points if you can figure out one of the things Bro is trying not to think about. ;)
> 
> Also comments give me life, make my writing easier, and updates (hopefully) quicker. Thanks a bunch to those who have commented already and please comment if you're reading this. Even if it's just "Hey nice words" or something.


	6. Jane: Make progress

For the next few “days” (if you could call them that without a night), “Bro” is mostly absent. Your earlier confrontation seems to have deterred him from interaction and he creates some very elaborate constructs to avoid your group altogether.

On the positive side, this seems to have distracted him from his... predicament, or at least so you assume. You look to the state of his constructs for information on his mental state. Mostly they stay solid though the architecture sometimes took on strange shapes, but sometimes, when you assume he is having a particularly hard time, they flicker or vanish altogether.

On the negative, his constructions and presumed mental state seem to only be getting worse as time wears on.

You dearly want to help him but you really have no choice but to wait him out. Any confrontation seems to be taken as an attack and it’s not as if he’s easy to find in any case.

You and the others spend this time mostly watching your respective children through the windows. Ms. Lalonde is particularly vocal about her daughter, often calling out things to her in encouragement or otherwise. Rose can’t hear her of course, but you suppose Roxy is having fun. The children’s adventures are interesting to say the least. Most of the excitement seems to be over after the first day but the long journey they chose to embark on is ripe with surprises as well.

When this form of entertainment proves dull, you converse with one another and play some time consuming games. You knew your companions through what you’d seen in the windows, but seeing them like this gives you a completely different insight.

You wish you could gain that insight on Bro. Your thoughts keep shifting toward him. It’s very odd that he doesn’t want to be referred to by his first name. He seemed almost angry when you so much as said it.

In your spare time, you try to puzzle something out from what information you do have on him. The windows are no longer any help, you can only view the lives of the living in what you assume to be the present. You can’t delve into his past for answers. You can only review what you’ve already seen.

It’s clear that the puppet is a key element to whatever is going on with him, but you can’t seem to discern much more. Bro talked to it, yes, but if it replied, it did so in a way you can’t interpret. You’ve observed something purple now and again, in the puppet’s eyes and in Bro’s. It is very unnerving to watch for whatever reason, but you do your best not to look away for the sake of knowledge. Whatever it is, it always originates in the puppet, transferring to Bro a moment later. It seems to convey knowledge to him sometimes, and at other times, when the color stays in their eyes for longer than a moment, you believe it gives the puppet… some form of control.

Bro doesn’t seem to be aware of this, or if he is he doesn’t mind. No matter what he clearly loves the wretched thing, in ways that at times almost seem desperate. You notice that he doesn’t interact with others much, and when he does it’s usually cordial. You can’t help but assume that the puppet is at fault.

You finally run across him a week or so in. He’s curled up again, muttering something you can’t understand. You contemplate the situation a moment before approaching. You don’t touch or confront him this time. Instead you sit near him (conjuring up a cushion to make it easier on your bum), and start talking. It’s nothing related, just a silly story, not even something important, but you keep your voice steady, soft, and calm.

Eventually the incoherent mumbling ceases and he slowly unclenches, still curled up but not as tight. He leaves as soon as he can and you refrain from going after him. You have to take this slow.

Time begins to blur together as you start to see him more. Every time he’s in some form of panic, you repeat your strategy, talking calmly about nothing until he’s calm enough to leave. Eventually his complete avoidance of your group ceases and you can spot him now and again. He still doesn’t approach you or attempt to make contact, but he’s not hiding completely and you call that progress.

You talk to the others about it, advising them not to confront him or make contact unless he initiates and not to treat him as something delicate or strange if he does. Jake seems to have the hardest time with this but Jeff and Roxy catch on quickly and all of you begin to see him more often.

Then, one day, he seeks _you_ out. You’re surprised but you try not to show it. He doesn’t say anything, just stands there, his hands shaking slightly. You get the hint and begin to talk again. He sits eventually and leaves when he’s ready.

Your ‘story sessions’ continue like this for a time. You conjure up some seating and a nice area to make things more pleasant and he seems to appreciate it even though he says nothing. You do, however, catch him altering them to suit his needs. You don’t mind, this is for his benefit after all, but you will admit that he finds some… interesting things comforting.

After what you determine to be a few months or so. You decide that it’s time.

“I think we need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick update? whaaat? But yeah, I said I had this partially done in the last chapter and here it is. I decided to do a sort of time overview/skip since not much interesting is happening. Next chapter is when we get into the real stuff. 
> 
> In a related note, Nana's technique is a real way to help someone having a panic or anxiety attack. It's not the one tried and true method, there are many different ways that are appropriate in different scenarios and if someone says that it's not helping them then this method is _not for them_ , but it does work sometimes.  
> Source: me who has an anxiety disorder.


	7. Bro and Jane: Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana talks to Bro and gains some... interesting information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Specific chapter warnings for implied abusive relationships, something like stockholm syndrome, and mentions of death.

“I think we need to talk”

He tenses up immediately and you half expect him to flash step away, but he doesn’t.

“About?” His voice is guarded. He hasn’t talked to you much, even during your sessions.

“I’d like to know a bit about Cal, preferably. Though it’s up to you.”

“I’m not crazy. I don’t need a shrink.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not one.”

“But you knew how to… y’know.”

“The benefits of motherhood and age, not psychiatry.”

He doesn’t seem convinced.

“Before I died I ran a small joke shop before that I was a baker and an heiress. No shrink-ness involved I assure you. You can ask Jeff if you don’t believe me. I’m not here to analyze you or anything similar.”

It takes a moment before he speaks again. “I’m not crazy.”

“I never said you were.”

It’s quiet again, but you’re patient and you wait. If things are to progress then it must be his choice. You don’t want to push him, not that doing so would do any good.

“Cal talks to me.” You can’t see his eyes behind his ridiculous eyewear but you can tell he’s staring at you intently, waiting for a response.

“I know.”

“You don’t believe me.”

“I do.”

“Why?”  

“You’ve seen the windows, correct? The ones that show the living world and our charges. I’ve been dead a long time, Mr. Strider, over thirteen years in fact. The windows were perhaps my only source of entertainment during that time. I watched several people through them. You being one of them. I hope you’ll forgive me for my curiosity but you are quite an interesting character.” He just stares at you. “I know Cal is more than he appears to be. I saw him moving on his own while you and young Dave were asleep, among other things. I know he’s not just a puppet, especially in regards to yourself.”

He pauses again.

“And you’re not a shrink?”

“Never have been.”

It’s quiet again.

“What do you,” He seems apprehensive, “want to know?”

You smile slightly. “Whatever you wish to share.”

He doesn’t respond. You can practically hear the gears in his head working overtime.

“How about,” You decide to provide a subject to work on. “You said he likes to talk to you? What do you talk about?”

He hesitates before responding. “Everything.”

“Everything?”

“Yeah.”

“As in, everything that happens in the day?”

“No. Well, maybe, sometimes. He,” Bro pauses. “He gets bored with that, sometimes. He… likes to talk about other things.”

“What other things.”

“The game.”

Your brow furrows. “The game? You mean-”

“Sburb, the game Dave and them are playing.”

Well that was certainly interesting. “So he knew about it. Well in advance I’d imagine.”

“Yeah. Even when I was a kid.” Bro sits up straighter in his chair. “He said we had to be ready. He said I had to be ready and I had to make Dave ready. He’s always right. He knows everything.” You notice a slight tremor where his hand is gripping the arm of the chair.

“Is that good?”

“Yes.” He seems certain of it. “He told me everything. How the game was going to play out, what I had to do.”

“Everything?”

“Yeah.”

“So you weren’t surprised at all?”

“It was a bit different experiencing it than hearing about it but no, not really.”

“He told you everything?” Something wasn’t right, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

“From beginning to end.”

End. A chill runs up your spine. You know it’s true before you say it. “You knew you were going to die.”

“Yeah.”

The bluntness and sincerity of his answer stuns you a bit. It sounds like he’s talking about the weather, not his own death. “Doesn’t that bother you?”

“He told me a while ago. It’s how it has to be. I got over it.” Plain, sincere and casual.

“Got _over_ it?” You’re at a loss for words. Your mind is reeling. Bro knew he was going to die. He knew that if he followed the puppet’s instructions he would die and he _followed them anyway_. Quite willing and without question, as it appears. You knew the reasons behind Bro’s behavior wouldn’t exactly be fun and dandy, but this is much worse than you were expecting. The puppet, this entity, whatever it was, could have told him to do _anything_ and…

“Yeah,” Bro seems to barely take notice of your discomfort. “If I didn’t die then the whole thing would be fucked up anyway so it’s not a big deal.”

A thought occurs to you and your eyebrows scrunch together in concern. “Did he know what would happen _after_ you died?”

“Yeah, they had to scratch the game.”

“Did he know what would happen to _you_?”

Your last word hangs in the air for a moment.

“He didn’t tell me. It doesn’t matter. He knew. He had to have known.” Bro seems certain still, but something tells you he’s not as confident as he sounds.

He didn’t know what would happen, and, if your intuition is right, it hadn’t even been a factor in the plan. He had every reason to expect nothing would happen, that he would die and cease to exist, and he did it anyway.

He’s looking at you expectantly.

“I’m sorry. I… can’t seem to wrap my head around this.”

He shrugs casually but you can tell some stoic defenses are back up. “It’s cool.”

Somehow you highly doubt that.  


	8. Someone New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A big change happens in the void. Precursing something Bro is not looking forward to.

You go back to the old routine for a while after that. Bro seems a bit put off by your response to your talk but is mostly “cool” about it. You wish you could say the same for yourself. You went into this intent on helping him but now… you don’t even know where to start. You are sure, now more than ever, that the puppet is a malicious entity. What else could act like this, convince someone that their life was a means to an end. Completely wrap someone around their finger and send them knowingly walking to their own death.

You still can’t wrap your head around it. He couldn’t be unbothered by that. There had to be… something. Something more. You don’t know what, but… oh goodness gracious. You just don’t know what to do with this.

Thankfully or unthankfully you don’t have to time mull it over for long. A few weeks after your first talk there’s a change in the white void. You get a new companion.

“John Crocker!” He introduces himself with a buzzer laden handshake (you have a feeling you’ll get along) and a big bucktoothed grin.

“John?”

He looks just like your grandson, or at least, what you think he’d look like if he were quite a few decades older. He even has the same first name, but he is most certainly not John Egbert.

“Yes?”

“Sorry, you just look like my son. His name’s John.”

“Funny, you look just like _my_ son, but he’s a bit younger.”

“Did you arrive with that buzzer?”

“Nope, I just thought it’d be a perfect opportunity for the gambit and there it was! Is that normal?”

“Yes, actually!”

“Sweet.”

“Well, John,” you cut in. “I believe it’s best to get you introduced and adjusted.”

“I’d actually rather go back to where I was.”

“Oh, um, about that-”

“You’re dead, genius.” Bro cuts in, looking quite a bit agitated. You notice him clenching and unclenching his hands, which were crossed across his chest. “There’s no going back.”

“Dead!?”

Jake sends Bro a look. “As blunt as he is, Mr. Strider is correct.” He offers the stunned looking John a wide smile and open arms. “Welcome to the afterlife!”

“Wait a minute. Strider? Like Dave Strider the movie producer?”

Bro stiffens slightly.

“Producer?” You ask, eyebrows raised. “I know a Dave Strider but he’s nowhere near a producer.”

“That’s because _this_ John is from an alternate timeline.” Bro states blandly, looking quite annoyed at the fact.

Everyone else goes silent, looking at each other in confusion.

You keep your eyes on Bro and gesture for him to elaborate.

He sighs. “We arrived to earth as babies on meteors, right? You, me, Roxy, Jake and the kids. In his timeline our meteors got switched around so the kids arrived before us.” He gestures vaguely at John. “Somehow we got the same names or first names or whatever. This John is the alternate of your grandson John. Dave Strider the movie director is an alternate of my lil bro Dave. Somewhere on John Crocker earth there’s a little Jane that’s an alternate of you. Etcetera. They’re completely different people with different lives but with our looks and exact copies of our DNA.”

Your eyebrows knit together as a puzzle solves itself in your mind. “And I’m guessing _your_ alternate _uses_ his first name, doesn’t he?”

Bro just huffs but you take it as a yes. 

“Oh yeah, I think Mom mentioned that.” John says, looking thoughtful. “Part of some game, right?”

“Golly, that game does a doozy.” Jake moves his hat to scratch at his head.

You devolve into chatter, introducing yourselves to John and asking him questions about himself and his world while he does the same in turn. Bro walks off sometime after he makes sure John knows what to call him, clearly not interested in the rest. After a bit, you follow him.

You admit that you are very interested in what John has to say, but you can talk to him later. You feel that this is more important.

You find Bro pacing in a closed off spot, muttering angrily to himself. You can’t tell what about but you catch the names “Dave,” “Dirk,” and “Cal” along with some creative profanity. You watch him for a bit. He doesn’t acknowledge you but you can tell he knows you’re there.

“I take it Cal knew about the alternate timeline.”

He scoffs, not pausing his back and forth journey. “Oh yeah, wouldn’t fucking shut up about it.”

You wait for a moment but he doesn’t continue, at least not loud enough for you to hear. 

“And he told you about-”

“Dirk.”

“Your alternate.”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t like him much, do you?”

“Don’t want to talk about it.”

“Can I do anything?”  

“Don’t know.”

“Do you want to talk at all?”

“No.” He physically pauses and looks at you, eyebrows crinkling in thought. “Not… not right now?”

“I can work with that.” You assure him. “Later, then.”

“…Yeah.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“… maybe? I…” Something seems to occur to him “It wouldn’t be a good idea. If you stay.”

You nod. “Alright. You know where to find me.”

“Yeah… Thanks.”

“Not a problem.” You pause. “He’s not bad, is he? Your alternate?”

Bro twitches and resumes his pacing, not giving you an answer. 

You take that as your cue to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, alpha guardians are coming. :3 And we get a little bit about why Bro doesn't go by his first name. It's a bit more complicated than is explained (including some skewed logic) but you can infer a bit. 
> 
> Also, Bro is not looking forward to meeting Alpha Dave for several reasons. You can imply some but more will be explained later.


	9. In which Jade arrives and Bro can't prank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this chapter try two since apparently it didn't actually post?

John Crocker’s life does turn out to be quite the story. Somehow, he too was raised by the batterwitch, though he seems to have had a much more pleasant relationship with her. Or perhaps he preferred to see the bright side of things while you preferred to see them as they were. Regardless, John is a merry addition to your group and his presence lightens the mood in the void considerably.

It’s not too long until he manages to pull you into something of a prank war. With the limitless constructs of the void you have a lot of material to work with and the resulting shenanigans are beautiful.

Jeff keeps up for his part. Jake manages to trip the various traps more than he misses them. Roxy turns out to be a hard mark. And Bro… you advised against pranking him. John didn’t listen at first but after a frightful incident with a katana, he seems to have laid off.

It does teach you something new about Bro, however. He legitimately doesn’t seem to know the difference between a prank and an attack. John puts him on edge like nothing else and you’ve had to separate them on more than one occasion.

It makes you think. You saw how Bro interacted with Dave and this new information makes you wonder.  To him his attacks and pranks must have been on the same level of aggressiveness, but what level _was_ that? Was he trying to be harmful or did he think he was playing? You dearly want to say it was the second, but something tells you it’s more complicated than that.

You do try to explain to him that John doesn’t mean any harm, but you can tell that, despite what he says, he doesn’t really get it.

This is especially obvious when he tries to “prank” John back and the poor man almost loses an arm.

The group as a whole is understandably upset. You can’t help but feel that way yourself, though you try to remind yourself about Bro’s… peculiarities, and do your best not to ostracize him for the act. The others aren’t of the same mindset however, and Bro does end up spending some time away from the group as all of you calm down. You have a feeling that he would have disappeared anyway.

Everyone comes out of the woodwork when you get another new companion.

“Jade English!” She’s old like you and Jake but she has a smile as bright as your world’s counterpart. It turns out that this Jade died _fighting_ the batterwitch, which you commend her for greatly.

John, however, is a bit upset about it.

“You didn’t hurt her did you?”

“John, she _killed_ me!”

Regardless of the sibling’s shenanigans (and apparent issues) Jade takes to Jake, and you leave him to explain what Jade doesn’t already know.

Jade is less fond of pranking, but her arrival fills the void with lightheartedness nevertheless. At least, for the most part. Bro only seems to have gotten more agitated. He doesn’t explain what’s wrong, and you don’t press him, but you can’t deny your curiosity.

Though with how he reacted to hearing about the other timeline’s Dave, at least some of the mystery is easy enough to figure out.

You know Bro wasn’t the _best_ guardian. He was, in fact, quite terrible. You’re not sure how much of that was him and how much was the puppet, but Bro clearly feels some sort of… turbulent emotion towards his brother. It’s still unclear what emotion exactly, but it’s not hard to guess that Bro is not looking forward to meeting this other Dave.

You wonder if this Dave will recognize Bro as Dirk. If the pattern of guardian to child holds, it looks like in this world Dave would be the elder brother and guardian of a younger Dirk Strider. Bro clearly holds some animosity towards his alternate self. It’s likely he wouldn’t want to be recognized as him, though you doubt that’s the entire reason he’s so anxious.

You suppose only time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! it's been a while. Sorry this chapter is mostly filler. I'm on break from college now so hopefully I can write a bit more and get this story moving.
> 
> As always, comments fuel my creativity, so please leave some if you like the story! Any theories about what will happen? Like my character voice? Hate it? Got some commentary to share? Did you notice my stupid foreshadowing pun? Any and all are welcome.


	10. Bro meet Bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now the moment you've all been waiting for!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you I'd have more time to write.

Alternate Dave and Rose appear at almost exactly the same time. You expect Bro to disappear as soon as he sees them but to your surprise he hangs around, if in the distance. Thankfully Dave and Rose have a grasp on the alternate timelines and react well when you inform them of where they are.

Roxy and Rose have a gleeful… meeting? Reunion? But as soon as Dave sees Bro-

“Dirk?” Dave looks almost hopeful. The rest of you fall silent. 

Bro is frozen. You can’t see his eyes but you have no doubt they’re fixed on Dave, possibly wide.

Dave frowns and takes one step forward. Apparently that’s all Bro needs to unfreeze and abscond, flash stepping in the manner you’ve become accustomed to, but Dave is just as fast. After a split second of confusion, he flash steps too, intercepting Bro before he can get too far. Bro moves again, Dave intercepts, again and again, faster than you can keep track of until, with a frustrated yell from Bro, there’s the sharp metallic glint of a sword.

“The fuck?” Dave parries the strike and you catch a frown before they’re both blurs moving to the clang of swords.

Frankly you’re stunned. It’s not out of Bro’s character, but you truly didn’t expect things to get violent this quickly. You take your eyes off the confusing mess of battle and look to your companions. Alternate Rose looks thoughtful, a frown and quirked brow. Roxy and Jake look baffled. John is resigned. Jade and Jeff are frowning disapprovingly.

A particularly loud clang and an indecipherable shout return your attention to the fight. Bro is clutching his suddenly swordless hand and Dave is standing victorious, his own knight like blade pointing towards him.

“Don’t fuck with me, bro.” Dave states, confused frown still present but overall expression dead serious. “Didn’t exactly fight the god damn Batterwitch with nothing, ya got me? Now, I ain’t ever met my lil bro, but if he turns out half of what we think, I know he wouldn’t just up and attack me like that for no good reason. What-“

“I am NOT Dirk!” Bro honestly looks frenzied. He’s shaking slightly, sweating from something other than exertion, his hat askew and person messy. “I am not Dirk, you’re not Dave and I… I don’t.” He clutches his head, grasping at the hair on the sides. “Shut up!”

You can tell Dave is completely taken aback. His sword falls slightly, and an eyebrow raises from under his shades. “You okay dude?”

“This isn’t supposed to happen!” Bro doesn’t seem to have heard him. “I’m not supposed to meet you! You’re not supposed to be here! This isn’t- This isn’t right! No. I can’t… It’s supposed to stop! Everything’s supposed to stop. It’s not-” He lets out a high pitched whine bordering on frustration.

You step forward. “Bro?”

He looks up at you. “He- He didn’t tell me…” He is obviously shaking now. “I-I can’t.” He flash steps away again, this time no one stops him from leaving.

It’s quiet for a moment.

“What the fuck!?” Dave looks to you.

You give him a sympathetic smile. “He’s having a rough time.”

* * *

 

After a short explanation of Bro’s behavior, you decide to show Dave what you had seen in the windows for more context. He watches with a clenched jaw as you flip through the highlights.

“That puppet, where’d it come from?” He asks.

“I have to admit that I don’t know. The windows only show what’s currently happening or what you’ve already seen. You can’t go back.”

He frowns. “Have you tried just-” He reaches out and touches the shimmery surface of the window, almost instantly a bar appears near the bottom. He runs his finger along it and the image rewinds, going past where you started and delving further into history.

“Oh-ho!” Your eyebrows jump up. “Now that’s a nifty trick.”

He smiles slightly. “Well I am the time king.”

“ _Knight_ , Strider.”

“Whatever. Now let’s see…”

“Here.” Rose interjects again, this time tapping on the window a fair bit further back along the line made by Dave. The image shifts and you’re greeted with the sight of a baby Bro clinging onto the accursed puppet.

Dave swears. “So he had it the whole damn time.” His brow creases and he looks to Rose. “You don’t think Dirk-?”

“He did have a similar puppet in my visions but his was not active. It was a just puppet as a puppet should be.” She states, a small smile growing as she continues. “We do have the capacity to check if you’re concerned.”

“Yeah.” He smiles too. “We can see them. Both of them! Rose, we can see our kids!”

You end up opening windows for them and Dave fast forwards the time to somewhere in the far future where alternate Roxy and Dirk live. Dirk does have lil Cal but, as Rose said, the puppet isn’t ‘active.’ It doesn’t move on its own or create that unsettling purple stuff it used with Bro. You get the impression of it being ‘empty,’ actually, like it’s a vessel to be filled.

Dave and Rose seem engrossed in watching their wards so you leave them be. You move to a private area and open a new window. To your satisfaction, whatever Dave did seems to have affected all the windows and you’re now just as capable of rewinding the timeline on this window as he was on the other one.

You can see everything now. Your curiosity gets the better of you. 

You focus the window on Bro and rewind the timeline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if anyone noticed but everything that's happened with the white void is related to aspects of the characters. Like Feferi and the dream bubbles, Nana and her life aspect made the white void for the souls of the deceased. Grandpa's hope aspect added the constructs and Beta Mom's void aspect did the rest [along with some other things that are spoilers].  
> Bro's heart aspect is actually having some difficulties due to his mental state [and his general rejection of it] otherwise it would have played a significant role too. 
> 
> The arrival of each of the alpha guardians brought something too but the main one is Alpha Bro's time aspect which added the ability to change the time on the windows, [Which you probably noticed] and a few other things. I'll just let you guys figure out the rest. ;)
> 
> In other news, next chapter will be interesting! It'll either be flashback central or some rambles from Bro's perspective. I have not decided or started writing it yet. You'll probably get both. I just don't know the order. 
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE COMMENTS!!! I usually try to respond to all of them but I've been busy. Please know that I've read them and cherish them dearly.


	11. Jane: Watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nana views the past and learns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long hiatus. Life got busy.

Bro grew up alone.

There were people there of course, and he tried to reach out to some of them as best he could, but any such attempts were always thwarted. Be it by Bro’s incompatible personality or Cal’s manipulative machinations. The puppet seemed intent on using any means necessary to keep Bro to himself. To keep him dependent and agreeable to Cal and his demands.

You still had no idea what Cal was actually saying to him. The windows didn’t allow you to understand. But younger Bro was infinitely more expressive than his older counterpart. His expressions were still far too few for one his age but considering you had been trying to read his stoic older self for the past few months, he was as easy to read as the written word.

Young Bro didn’t seem to sense anything was wrong with Cal, not at first. He was his companion and comfort. He spent hours talking and playing with the puppet. But as the years progressed, things got progressively worse. Cal completely isolated him from other children. He scared them away or manipulated Bro into doing it for him. Even then, Bro didn’t blame the puppet. He seemed to be under the impression that they wouldn’t have been worth his time anyway or that Cal was doing it for his own good.

But then, he didn’t. You’re not sure what happened in his head, but one day, Bro approached a teacher about Cal. Cal was telling him to do things the teacher said weren’t okay and he wasn’t sure what to do.

The teacher didn’t believe him. _No one_ did.

They sent him to doctors and psychiatrists. They told him that he was making it up, that it was in his head. That he was wrong. That he was crazy. That the bad things Cal was saying were his fault. His own terrible thoughts and desires.

But, of course, he wasn’t wrong. He wasn’t making it up. Cal was alive and talking to him. Nothing they did had any effect.

He isolated himself from those people, he pretended that Cal wasn’t talking to him so they’d go away.   But he was still desperate for someone to understand. Desperate for anyone who even remotely believed him. Believed that Cal was alive. That he wasn’t crazy. That he wasn’t doing this to himself.

He clung to anyone that even acted like they believed him. Cal scared away anyone with good intentions and those unsavory characters remaining…

 

You had to stop watching.

You doubt Bro would have even wanted you to see as much as you had but this… this was too much, too personal.  Your browsing had taken up a good chunk of time too. You think you should digest what you’ve seen before you view any more.

You head back to the common area where Dave was acting out some venture to the rest of your group. Well, everyone except Bro. He had yet to return from wherever he had run off to.

It does appear that whatever story Dave is telling is entertaining but you suppose you can hear it later. You do have the rest of eternity after all. You are the only one Bro has opened up to even slightly. It’s your duty to make sure he’s alright.

You head to the corner you normally inhabit during your sessions with Bro and to your surprise you find him already there. He doesn’t say anything when you approach and sit in your chair but he does nod at you to acknowledge your presence.

Neither of you talks for a long moment. You decide to break the silence

“So-“

“Everything was going to stop when I died” Bro interrupts, not looking at you. “For me, anyway. I didn’t think there would be… this.” He gestures around vaguely. “I die, everything I am ceases to be and the timeline continues on as it should. He said there were ‘Dream bubbles’ for the players but there wasn’t supposed to be anything for me, for us. We were just supposed to stop existing.”

His forwardness shocks you. “I thought you said-“

“That Cal must have known, I know. But,” He hesitates. “Dave’s here. He would have told me about that.”

You take what he said in for a moment. “He’s not your Dave.”

“I know. He’s not Dave like I’m not Dirk. I know. But what am I supposed to…”

“To tell him?”  

“Something like that.” He doesn’t elaborate.

“Let’s backtrack. You said ‘everything was supposed to stop’. What’s everything?”

He raises an eyebrow. “I dunno, life?”

“You were the one that said it. You said it was supposed to stop.”

“I did?”

“Twice.”

He seems to contemplate this for a moment, but gives up quickly. “I don’t know.”

“You were the one that said it. Logic implies that only you would know.” Yet he didn’t seem to realize his wording.

“Well I _don’t_ know.” He seems somewhat irritated. “It just came out like that.”

You nod quietly, deciding to drop the subject for now. “Was there anything you wanted to talk about?”

He thinks for a moment. “I dunno. I don’t want to talk to Dave. I can’t avoid him forever but… I don’t know. I need time to think.”

“I can relay the message to Dave.” You offer. “Tell him to keep away for a while.”

Bro nods and grunts his approval.

“And I’m always here if you need to talk. Whenever you feel ready.”

He nods again but doesn’t say anything else. You assume that’s the end of the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a review and tell me what you'd like to see next!  
> I do have some things planned but there's always wiggle room. ;) Plus reviews keep me motivated to write.


	12. Time stops for nobody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What do you mean I can't talk to him?"

“What do you _mean_ I can’t talk to him!?”

You sigh. Dave and Rose couldn’t have arrived less than a day ago but it felt like much longer “I didn’t say you _can’t_. I said he doesn’t _want_ you to and I would advise letting him have his space.”

“This is bullshit! He’s not my kid, I get that, but he’s pretty damn close!”

“And you are ‘pretty damn close’ to his kid too.” You remind Dave calmly. “And if you recall they didn’t have the best relationship.”

“Well if _you_ recall, me and my lil bro didn’t get to _have_ a relationship! I’m not letting that stop me from starting a new one!”

“He’s not Dirk!”

“And I’m not his Dave, but as far as I’m concerned he’s still my fucking brother!”

You’re a bit surprised that Dave’s gotten attached to Bro this quickly. Actually, you’re a bit surprised that he’s gotten attached to him at _all_ given how their first meeting went.

“The last time you two talked it involved swords.”

“So?”

“ _So!_?”

“Yeah, maybe he needs a good sword fight!”

“Nobody needs a sword fight!”

“Shows what you know.”

“Dave, I’ve known him for a while now and I’m telling you to let him have his space.” 

“And I’m telling you that’s not going to work. I’ll admit that I only just met the guy but I get this feeling that he’s a lot like me. And when I’m avoiding something nothing less than the damn thing slamming into my face like a stop sign in a hurricane will make me confront it.”

“We’ve been doing just fine taking things slowly.”

“Yeah, and how far have you gotten with that? They said everyone but you have barely seen him.”

You raise an eyebrow and look towards the rest of your group. Most of them are doing a terrible job at acting like they’re not listening to you but nobody meets your gaze. You look back to Dave.

“I was asking around.” He states. “Everyone’s got a good thing going with their not-kids. Everyone but me and him.”

“So, you want to rush things in hope of a good relationship?”

“No, no, not what I was going for. I meant what I said about the stop sign. I think it’ll work. I’m just getting this gut feeling that _I’m_ meant to do something here. Like it’s some weird destiny for mismatched Striders to fix shit up together.”

You hesitate.

“Look, if what I’m going to do falls flat, you can say you had no part in it and pick up where you left off. I just can’t sit here and do nothing.”

You sigh. “You’re going to do this no matter what I say, aren’t you?”

He shrugs abashedly but nods.

“I guess I don’t have much of a choice but to allow it, but for the record, I _did_ try to stop you.”

He smiles. “You’re the best, Jane. I mean it.” He looks around. “Now where do I find the guy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter.  
> I'm thinking of keeping the chapters shorter like this just so I update more often. Quality might drop but hey, updates will be a thing.  
> I was going to say something like "at the end of a week I'll post whatever I have" but I know I won't do that. 
> 
> I'm also going to try to respond to every comment again! I know I didn't do that one or two chapters (and it seems too late to go back) but, yeah, going back to doing that, so if you've got input or questions or whatever, know that it will be responded to!


	13. Be Dave, Confront Bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~I'm sorry.~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Emotions. Violence. Vague references to child abuse.

Your name is Dave Strider and, despite what you’ve said, you do still view your not-kid as something like your kid. To your credit you have never actually met your kid and thus have no preconceptions on what his alter would act like because of it. Still, because of that, or maybe even in spite of it, you feel a strong responsibility for this other person, this other Strider you see as your family.

You’re not sure what you’re going to do when you find him, but you want to make this right, somehow.

Jane had, a bit reluctantly, given you some idea where you could find Bro, but you were mostly venturing out without any direction. Whether you actually find him or not is up to fate.

Apparently, fate is on your side. You manage to spot him something like an hour into your search. Unfortunately, he also spots _you_ and tries to abscond again. You’re just as quick as him (maybe even faster?) and block is escape. A few times. He doesn’t like that.

“What the fuck is your deal!?” He’s perspiring slightly.

“What the fuck is _your_ deal?” You ask back. “I don’t even know you man, no need to get your panties in a twist.”

“Fuck you.” He tries to leave again.

You once again block him.

He growls in frustration. “I am not doing this. Get out of my way.”

“So you can ignore me for the rest of forever? I don’t think so.”

“That’s not… ugh!”

“Yeah, you know you were gonna.”

“Not your problem. Doesn’t matter.”

“We’re in this for li- death, bro. If it’s not my problem now it’s gonna be eventually.”

“Well then we’ll deal with it ‘eventually’.”

“Nah, now’s as good as any.”

“Not doing this.”

You end up blocking his escape a few more times until he shouts in frustration again. You get ready for another fight but he never draws his sword. Presumably, he already knows he’s going to lose.

“Stop doing that!”

“Not until you talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Bullshit.”

“Not with _you_. You’re not my Dave. I’m not your Dirk. We have nothing to discuss.”

“You gonna keep that attitude for the rest of eternity? We have to have something to sort out or you wouldn’t be avoiding me, and you wouldn’t have attacked me when we first met. So what’s your deal?”

He grits his teeth, and you can feel the glare, but he doesn’t say anything.

You stare him down for a moment. “Jane showed me what happened in the windows.”

“What happened?”

“With you and other Dave.”

He scoffs. “Then why the fuck do you want to talk to me?”

“Why do I-? Dude, why _wouldn’t_ I want to talk to you? What backwards son of a bitch wouldn’t have questions?”

“Questions? I’m a terrible person, end of story.”

It takes you aback that he’d admit something like that but, “I don’t buy that dude.”

“Then you’re an idiot.”

“No. Fuck, man. You- Terrible people don’t think they’re terrible.”

“Well why the fuck not!”

“They just… don’t bro.”

“They ‘just don’t.’ Real solid argument.”

You don’t know what to say for a moment, and, fuck, you always have something to say. He thought he was terrible. He … _he knew what he did was wrong_.

“No. See. People don’t just think they’re terrible. They always think they have a good reason for whatever. Something’s got to excuse it.”

“Oh really.”

“Yeah, even if it’s a fucked-up reason, there’s a reason.”

“Then what’s mine, wise guy?”

“That’s _my_ question. I have to ask _you_ that.”

“And if I don’t have one?”

“Then you’re lying.”

He barely moves but you can tell he tensed up. You’re on to something.

“So what is it? Why’d you do it?”

“The hell does it matter?”

“Was it the puppet?”

“What?”

“The puppet. Lil Pal.”

“Cal!?”

“Yeah.”

“Leave him _out_ of this!”

“Why? He seems pretty damn integral, doin’ his creepy puppet shit, I bet this was all his damn fault.”

Well that apparently crossed a line. Bro growls at you and this time you do see a sword. It’s easy enough to parry him. His swings are erratic and fueled by anger instead of any type of logic or strategy. You could easily win this… but maybe… you have an idea.

You toss your sword away and hold your hands up in surrender. As you predicted, he stops his attack, the blade a breath away from your skin. Your sword distantly hits the ground with a clang

You both stare at each other for a tense moment, pants of breath you don’t need filling the silence.

He flashsteps backwards, not putting away his sword but lowering it to a less offensive stance, and stares at you like you’re an idiot. Maybe you are.

“What… the _fuck_? What the _actual_ fuck, Dave? I could have… are you _nuts_!?”

“Yeah, you could have.” You don’t want to think about what he _could_ have done, actually. “But you _didn’t_.”

He continues to stare at you, saying nothing.

You just stare back for a moment, trying to gather your thoughts. “It’s not a lot. Fuck, maybe it is. I don’t know. But you didn’t, Bro. You didn’t hurt me.”

“But I… Why?” He actually seems legitimately confused. “I didn’t… before I… _before_ I…”

“I don’t think you wanted to.”

Your statement seems to echo in the silence for an absurd amount of time.

“I… didn’t want to?” He actually looks as confused as he sounds. “I didn’t _want_ to!? I didn’t want to?” Angry. Back to confused. “I ... didn’t want to.” The change to a statement seems to have done something in his head. He drops the sword which hits the ground with a clang and moves his hands up to almost grasp his head, not quite reaching it before he freezes. He’s staring into space, frozen and shaking slightly as his mouth opens and closes, trying to find words.

You’re not sure what to do. Part of you wants to comfort him somehow but you don’t see how that’s possible. You move and he startles, coming back to himself enough to stare at you, but this seems to only worsen … whatever is happening, and his shaking increases.

“I’m sorry.” His voice cracks and his own admission seems to shake himself even more. “I’m sorry. Fuck.” He manages to grab his head this time and pulls on his hair so much that his hat falls off. “I don’t- I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”

“Bro?” You move forward again and it’s immediately obvious that it wasn’t the right move.

He jumps backwards, looking at you like you’re some sort of specter. You manage to meet his eyes for a split second, and then just like that he’s gone.

You don’t go after him this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, emotions. ~~And Dave isn't the only one having trouble processing alters.~~  
>  I don't even know what to say to this one. This chapter hit me hard. 
> 
> Anyway, tell me what you think! Even if what you think is "Oh damn. So that happened."
> 
> I also have a writing tumblr! [Tempiwrites](http://tempiwrites.tumblr.com/) ~~where I don't post much~~ You can talk to me there if you want! ~~(anything to get people to talk to me)~~


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